This Week's Light Service Sermon

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Home Improvement
Secrets of Being a Great Parent
DATE: February 20, 2000
TEXT: Mark 10:13-16

Back in the days when fathers waited outside for the baby to be born, there were three men waiting for the joyous news. The first was informed by the nurse that his wife had twins. He told the nurse, "Isn't that ironic. I pitch for the Minnesota Twins."
A few minutes later the second man learned his wife had triplets. The coincidence was that he worked for 3-M.
The third man panicked and raced for the door. He was stopped and asked what was the matter. "I work for 7-11 and I'm getting out of here."
That precious moment, that first moment, when I first held each of my two children in my arms, looking into their fresh little face, there is an overwhelming sense of joy, gratitude, bewilderment, knowing that I was about to face the most wonderful and most wearying task of our lives, all at the same time. Perhaps you've sensed that same feeling, emotion. What an awesome task we are given as parents and grandparents to nurture and raise our children. Nothing is more wearying and wonderful all at the same time.
One little boy said to his friend, "I'm really worried. My Dad slaves away at his job so I'll never want for anything, so I'll be able to go to the university if I want to. Mom has a job outside of the house and then she comes home and does washing and ironing, cleaning up after me, taking care of me when I get sick. They spend every day of their lives working on just my behalf. I'm worried." His friend asked, "What have you got to worry about?" And the boy replied, "I'm afraid they might try to escape!"
Sometimes we're tempted aren't we? The sad fact is that in our day and time there are those who have escaped, physically, and left their children. Some have escaped emotionally. They do the job; they carry out the task, but their hearts are not in it.
What an incredible impact we have the nurturing of our children, the impact on their emotional, physical and mental well being for years and years to come. I know all of us here as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors want to love children. So today we're going to learn from God's word some secrets to becoming a better parent, grandparent and friend. Before we talk about that let's pray together.
Heavenly Father, in a world in which the term "family values" has been reduced to a political sound bite, teach us your children, through your own strong example, the value of being family. You share with your children a love so strong, self-giving and faithful, that even death cannot overcome it. Teach us to love as you love--completely, without regret, without concern for selfish gain. Teach us, Lord to be family. AMEN
Mark 10:13 reads: "People were bringing little children to Jesus in order that he might touch them."
It was no surprise that these people brought their children to Jesus. It was natural in those days that primarily the mothers brought their children to a great and distinguished Rabbi like Jesus. Typically, they brought their children to such a person on their first birthday. And it's no wonder they wished Jesus to lay his hands on them. They had seen what those hands could do. They had seen them touch disease and pain away; they had seen them bring sight to the blind, peace to the distracted mind. It's no wonder they wanted hands like those to touch their children.
But what's so wonderful is how Jesus responded. Now, Jesus was not a natural parent. He had no children of his own. But we see in this text incredible parenting skills that we can also learn from. First of all, it says that he welcomed them. He said, "Let the little children come to me."
At the same time, we see another group in this story that had another agenda. "The disciples spoke sternly." to those who brought people to Jesus. They told the people to stop bothering him. To give these disciples the benefit of the doubt, I don't think they hated children. I don't think they despised children. I think, instead, they were concerned for Jesus. They knew what he was going through. They knew the crowds that had gathered around him and pushed against him to be healed. They knew the pressure as he taught and healed. They knew the pressure as he taught and led and guided all the disciples and all the followers. Most important, Jesus was on his way to the cross, and he knew it. Its cruel shadow can never have been far from his mind. It was at such a time that he had time for the children. He had the time right now to take them in his arms and he had the heart to smile into their faces and maybe to play with them awhile. The disciples knew this. He was a busy person with the weight of the world on his shoulders. And so they said to the people, "Not right now. Later. Not right now."
Have you ever heard those words from a parent? Or said them yourself? "Dad, can I play with you?" "Yes, but not right now." "Dad, can we play a video game?" "Not right now, I'm busy." These disciples had a "not right now" attitude. We can't blame them because they were watching out for Jesus. But the reason this text is so beautiful and wonderful is to see instead how Jesus responded. He welcomed the children. He said, "Let them come to me. Don't keep them back."
How can you and I in our busy world continue to welcome children--to have an open attitude--a "right now" attitude to welcome them in?
One of the things that I appreciate about John Maroni is his welcoming attitude--his "right now" attitude not only towards our youth but also towards our children. Many times I have seen John get down to where the kids are, on their level.
Jesus first welcomed children. And he welcomed them because he valued children. He said, "People like these children belong to the kingdom of God." Think about that--children belong to the Kingdom of God! Just as you and I do. They have the same connection with God that we have. They aren't just Christians-in-waiting or future Christians. They're God's people right now. They may not understand all that we do about the Bible or Christianity or know all the right words and phrases that we know but that doesn't make them any less important in the family of God.
I get emailed all kinds of interesting notes written by kids. Here are just a few: Christians have only one spouse; that is called monotony." A 6-year old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who pass trash against us."
Children may not grasp all the theological nuances, but Jesus knew that children have the same connection with God as we do. Sometimes more so! Their faith isn't clouded by all our self-inflicted doubts about God or ourselves. In fact, Jesus takes it a step further. He said, "I promise that you cannot get into God's kingdom unless you accept as a child does."
"Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it."
Second, Children have an understanding of the kingdom that we can listen to.
Over the Christmas holidays I made a confirmation assignment which basically asked our Confirmands--7,8,9 graders--what it is they believe. I want to read anonymously portions of just a few of their responses.
"I believe a lot and I always will, but people are afraid of what would happen if someone had other beliefs. I am scared of that of what would happen if you or anyone else disagreed with what I believe in. So to my point.I am writing as if I was the only one to see this that way. If it sounds different that's why. I believe the life with God is one good life. God to me is someone who is always listening no matter how bad you can spell or how autistic you are. God, I believe is someone who thinks everyone is the smartest, funniest, the most beautiful or the most people person. I am the little kid behind the tree, scared to make friends. God helps me. He cares, he loves he knows you and why.To me God is someone with the biggest heart and that flame inside never dies. I believe that Jesus is that flame."
"I do believe in God and Jesus. I believe because I know he is there and listens to me. When I pray he does answer my prayers. Like, if I ask for someone to get better from being sick, most of the time they do and I know God listened. If they don't sometimes, I am disappointed for awhile but then I realize it's not God fault or anyone else's. It was just unfortunately meant to be..I like our church. Some Sundays, to be honest, I don't feel like going but I do enjoy coming. Our church is beautiful and I feel God's presence there. Church is a happy place. I like how it modern and not so long and boring. I love life; it is amazing and precious. Every day waking up and learning something new or meeting a new person. It is so special, to explore the world and have relationships with others. I love life."
"I believe that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit do exist. If they don't exist in the flesh, then they exist in my heart. It's a good feeling having them and knowing they'll always love me. No matter what happens in my life, they'll always be there and forgive what I have done."
"I believe God is the one who made everything and everyone. I don't know how long it took him or how he did it, but I know he did. He destroyed the world once with a flood.He led Abraham into Canaan and made him into "a great nation." He sent prophets like Elisha to Israel. Finally, he sent his Son to the world. Jesus was unfairly tried and put to Death. Even though he could have left anytime he stayed to save us. Because he sacrificed his life we will have a place in heaven. He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us. The Bible tells us that our entire existence should be used to glorify God."
Martin Luther said that the most important task for any parent, any grandparent, in this life is to love children and help them love God. No matter who we are we can all do that. We can encourage them by praying with them, by reading from the Bible and reading devotions. There are many resources and creative ways to help children. A recent Gallop Study showed that the number one predictor of the future friends, values and morals of children is the worship life of their parents and family--worship in the home and bringing them to the worship of God's house. Nothing is more important than Jesus in their heart.
Thirdly, not only did Jesus welcome and value children, he expressed his love for children. The Bible says he "took them in his arms."
In a Family Circus cartoon, Little Billie walks in through the front door toward his mother, arms outstretched and says, "I need a hug, Mommy. I used up the last one." Hugs are so important. They energize one another. They energize our children and they get used up quickly in our tear down world.
One Thanksgiving a school teacher asked her class of first graders to draw a picture of something they were thankful for. She thought of what these children from poor neighborhoods actually had to be thankful for. But she knew that most of them would draw pictures of turkeys or tables with food.
The teacher was taken back with the picture Douglas handed in.a simple childishly drawn hand. But whose hand? The class was captivated by the abstract image. "I think it must be the hand of God that brings us food," said one child. "A farmer," said another, "because he grows the turkeys." Finally, when the others were at work, the teacher bent over Douglas' desk and asked whose hand it was. "It's your hand, Teachers," he mumbled. She recalled that frequently at recess she had taken Douglas, a scrubby, forlorn child, by the hand. She often did that with children. But for Douglas it meant so much. He was a broken child who desperately needed that expression of affection.
We can do the same. We can hold the hands of our children--figuratively, literally. We can encourage them along the way.
And that's the fourth point. Jesus encouraged children. Jesus took the children in his arms and "he blessed them." He gave them a gift. He gave them something.
I know for many of us it's hard to relate to children. They are in such a different world with all the video games, new music. We maybe feel we don't have much to give them. Friends, I say we do. We have a whole lot to give them. We don't have to act like children act. We don't have to dress like children or think like children think. But if you and I continue to say, "I care about you; I'm in your corner" -- and not just say it but also demonstrate it -- that has an incredibly compelling impact on kids. There's power in unconditional love. Ultimately that's what every child in this universe is looking for. They don't need another toy. They don't need another gift. They need the gift of you and your encouragement--your words and actions that say, "I love you."
As you just heard, Susan Summerville has taken upon herself the responsibility of a wonderful ministry. It's called LIFELINE. A week ago Wednesday night at confirmation and again last Sunday at Faith Student Fellowship, she asked all our youth if they would like to have a prayer partner, some one--an adult--who will pray for them this next year. They won't know who that person is until an end of the year fellowship event. There's no better way to shine and share the love of Jesus that to pray for our youth.
Jesus welcomed children. He valued them. Jesus encouraged them. And he expressed love to them. He invites us to do the same.
As I close today I want to share a promise with you. I think the number one reason parents or grandparents have trouble loving their children and grandchildren is that they feel a love deficit themselves. Perhaps you weren't cherished and valued as a child. Or don't feel cherished and valued right now. When you don't feel that love it's hard to give it away. Yes, we need to learn parenting skills and all that. But the number one source of love for children is knowing that we are loved. And here's the promise: 1 John 3:1 "See how great a love the father has for us that we should be called children of God."
Not only did Jesus love and value and cherish and encourage children two thousand years ago. But he wants to do the same for you. Jesus Christ comes today to encourage you. He calls you "his precious child." And as such he can give you the courage you need to move on with your life. Jesus Christ can be the one who values you and lifts you up. And ultimately the one who expressed his love for you by dying on the cross. He's the source. It all begins with Jesus.
AMEN