Light Service Sermons for the Month

Family
A Call to Singleness
DATE: April 30, 2000
TEXT: Mark 3:31-35

I know that most of you married folks out there see the title in the worship brochure "A Call to Singleness" and think, "Boy! At last, a sermon I can totally sleep through because it doesn't have a thing to do with me!" I have good news for you; this is a message that is for every single, single, single one of you.

It may come as a surprise to you but marriage is not God's ultimate dream for you. Certainly God was the author, the creator, the innovator of it, but you need to know that it's not his ultimate dream for you. God's ultimate dream for you is a call to SINGLENESS. It's all about you and your maker. And this is the perspective that I want to share with you this morning.

Five percent of the people who are single adults today are in a separated state from their marriage. Another 23% of the adult single population are divorced. Another 18% are widows or widowers. Little more than 50% of the adult single population right now have never been married. That may surprise you. Lots of people think that probably the biggest part of the single adult population are those who are divorced. Not so. There are lots of reasons for that, and although I'm not going into that this morning, I wanted to give you a brief overview of these "single" statistics.

The word single always seems to have a negative connotation. I was talking to my son a couple of weeks ago and he shared with me that he was at a gathering of his co-workers and one of them came up to him and said, "Don't worry. There's still time for you to find someone and get married." He replied, "I wasn't worried until now." To be single always has this "negative thing" about it.

You meet somebody's who's single. "Hello! Oh, you're single? Oh, okay. Oh, you've never been married? I see, oh..(they must be defective)." Or, "Oh, you're single again? I see, so you're divorced.(what a reject). Or, "I'm just delighted to meet you..(you failure)." Or, "Oh, I'm sorry that you lost your husband...(hope they don't feel like they're in the "lonely heart club" the rest of their life)." Or, "Did you know that Faith welcomes singles all over the place. Sure, you can go to this single adult (leper colony) that the church offers. It's really a wonderful place to go."

We have all these funny, funny ideas about being single. Being single in many single adult minds equals being lonely. And if being single equals being lonely, what's the solution? Marriage! We all know that loneliness and being lonely is not a problem that is solved by marriage. What we first have to do is redefine the term single. What does single mean?

I went to my friend Daniel Webster. Single means this: whole, distinct, unique, separate, complete in itself. Like one car, one house, one person! Whole, distinct, unique, separate and complete in himself or herself.

Is there anyone here that does not want to be identified as a single individual person when you understand that the definition is wholeness, distinctness, uniqueness? Do you know that every single one of you are a unique, individual creation of the living God? In fact, he has his signature upon you? Your thumbprint is the only thumbprint in existence? It's God signature to you that as a single individual person you are the most important and most wonderful creation that he has ever made.

God gave you singleness. God has called you and created you and has given you birth for a purpose. The world today is not single-friendly. Society today is not single-friendly. Everything you see in movies and magazines, television, radio and music is all about the need--"have to have"--a relationship. You have to be married. If you're not married there's something wrong with you. If you're not married you're incomplete. If you are not married you are only half a person.

The great news of scripture is that God says to you that the call to singleness is necessary for you to become all that you are meant to be. When Jesus' family passed him a note saying they wanted to talk to him, he made it quite clear not that he was rejecting his blood mother and siblings but that those who were obedient to God, those who carried out the purposes that God had laid on their hearts, were his family.

I have talked to you before about 'living your dreams God has given you.' Marriage is not going to expose those things. Marriage is a relationship--a gift from God, a companionship where two people who are individually, separately, uniquely whole in and of themselves, stand together both with their own feet on the ground, both with their own sense of identity, both with their own sense of purpose. In marriage they lock arms, they look at one another and they commit their life to one another and they walk the pathway of life fulfilling God's purposes, sharing the gift of marriage. However, marriage itself will not fill the vacuum, will not fulfill the purposes for which God has called you to. Only God can fulfill that which is you as a single person.

I think the church is not about marriage but about singleness. It doesn't matter whether you are married or not. If you are, wonderful. If you are not, wonderful. The question is: are you fulfilling and following the purposes that God's put in your heart?

Finally, I'll close by sharing with those of you who are married, I want you to understand that your marriage is only as good as your singleness. To those of you who are single, you must understand that the call to singleness is a biblical call. It's a biblical gift. There are so many things that God can give to you and use as a single person. Let God surprise you with the gift of marriage. Don't' chase it. Don't pursue it. That's not what you're born for, that's not what you're meant for--let God put that together--and when he does, if he does, then wonderful. But let the purposes of God be the first things that get fulfilled in your life. The best thing that you can do as a single person is to live and become as whole and unique and separate and distinct as God intended you to be.

That way, when you as one egg, meet up with another egg, you together can enjoy the recipe of the omelet of marriage. But, don't forget--one bad egg and one good egg or one bad egg and one bad egg doesn't make a good omelet.

AMEN