This Week's Light Service Sermon

Light Service Sermons for the Month
The Secret of Empowerment
Tough and Tender Heart
DATE: June 18, 2000
TEXT: Ephesians 4:17-24

I think you would like my friend Murray. Murray is this hard working blue collar type who helps his wife run a family owned lumber yard. He drives around in a big red truck. He generally wears t shirts in the summer, brown shirts in the fall and spring, flannel in the winter. Yet, Murray has a tender heart. Every time we begin to talk about something very precious to him - his children, his wife, his faith, people who are hurting - Murray gets very passionate. Murray has a tender heart - a tough and tender heart. The kind of heart I want. The kind of heart I believe you want. The kind of heart that can celebrate all the emotions of life. A heart that can feel compassion for other people and passion for what we do. A heart that can experience the joy of life. Unfortunately for most of us, there's so much around us that pressurizes us to develop a cold, calcified heart. The hurt and pain that's been inflicted upon you over the years can harden a heart. The pressures of survival in the city - even just driving on the roads any more - can harden our heart. The dog-eat-dog world of business can calcify our heart.
God has some good news for you. Through our scripture god wants to show us a way that we can enjoy a tough and tender heart today and for years to come. So as we prepare to hear that promise, let's pray together.
(PRAYER)
Ephesians 4:17, Paul writes "As a follower of the Lord I order you to stop living like stupid, godless people." (Almost makes you wonder how he really feels!) It's pretty straightforward, isn't it?
Paul contrasts the old life and the new life. He says that without God our heart grows hard, becomes petrified. We lose our feeling. "Those who are without God, their minds are dark. They're stubborn, ignorant and have missed out on the life that comes from God. They no longer have any feelings about what is right. They're so greedy that they do all kinds of indecent things." Paul claims here that no one becomes that hard all at once. It is a process of turning away from God - turning to our own greed. Eventually we lose our sense of connection with God and others. Paul says, "That isn't what you were taught. There's a better way. There's another way to live. There's a way to keep your heart from petrifying, from calcifying. There's the way it is: Verse 22 "You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and you must give up your old way of life with it's bad habits. Let the Spirit change you into a new person." It boils down to this: take off the old, put on the new. God has made you into a new person.
There's an incredible story in the Bible about Jesus' friend Lazarus. Jesus came to visit Lazarus but he was in the tomb - dead for four days. Then Jesus by his incredible compassion and power places his hands forward and says "Lazarus, come out!" As Lazarus comes forward his legs, arms and face are wrapped in cloth. Then Jesus turns to the friends of Lazarus and says, "Take off his grave clothes." Lazarus was no longer dominated by death. He was a new person. He'd been make alive and Jesus said, "You don't need those grave clothes anymore."
We need new people! II Corinthians 5:17, "If anyone is in Christ we are new people. The old has passed away, the new has come." That is our reality as Christians. God says, "You are a new person." Yet how often as new people do those old grave clothes still cling to us-those habits based on fear rather than faith. Those habits based on fear rather than faith. Those habits based on hate rather than love. Paul is saying to us today, "Take off those grave clothes and put on these new grace clothes." Take off the old habits that follow that old way of living. And start a new way of living with new habits."
Paul goes on to explain more clearly what he means by the new grace clothes versus the old grave clothes. Verse 25, "we are part of the same body. Stop lying and start speaking truthfully."
A little girl had developed a bad habit - she was always lying. Once she was given a St. Bernard dog and she went to all the neighbors and told them she'd been given a lion. Her mom pulled her aside and said, "Honey, that's not quite right. You go right upstairs and tell God you're sorry and promise that you're never going to lie again." She went upstairs and then came down a few moments later. Her mom said, "Well, did you tell god you're sorry?" She said, "Yes I did. And God said to me that sometimes he finds it hard to tell the difference between my dog and a lion, too." They tell me that it takes up to two years to first break an old habit and adopt another in its place. Realizing what God dreams for us takes time I know. Yet becoming God's people is part of our calling as Christians.
Falsehood calcifies the heart. It makes our heart hard. But truth-telling softens us. It makes our heart tender and supple. Paul gives us the reason here for telling the truth. He says, "We are part of the same body." We are members of the same body. We all flow and work together. Imagine a physical body that loses track of truth. Imagine the nerves in your finger telling lies to your brain. You're finger's touching a not fire, but your finger's telling your brain, "No, that's cool. That's nice." Your body won 't last long. And so it is with the body of Christ, in this community of faith, in your family and marriage, when we aren't truth telling, we can destroy ourselves. So Paul says, "Speak truthfully so that we can function well together. So we can be honest with each other."
Secondly, Paul says, "Don't get so angry that you sin. Don't go to bed angry. And don't give the devil a chance." Notice that it doesn't say, "Don't be angry." Anger is a natural part of human relationships. Anger can be a signal, a signpost along the road that something's not right. Not "don't be angry," but when you are angry, handle it in the proper way, and don't let it linger. Some marriage counselors say this is a good rule of thumb for your marriage - never go to bed angry. Anger should lead to resolution. Anger should lead to talking with that person and resolving the conflict and getting it out because we do not want to "give the devil a change." When we let our anger get the best of us, the devil does get a foothold - something happens in our relationships, in our lives that's very negative and could become very evil.
Verse 28, "Steal no longer. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Be honest and work hard so that you have something to give people in need." Many people here, I would guess most of us, would not consider ourselves thieves. But Paul takes it a step further. He's talking about the greed that can so easily overcome us.
Imagine that a dog had her own pillows, comb and brush, a red wool sweater, two windows to look out of, two bowls to eat from and a master who loved her deeply. Despite all this, the dog left home and said, "I'm discontented. I want something I do not have. There must be more to life than having everything."
There IS more to life than having everything! So often all around us we're pressured to have more and more and more. And when we are greedy, no matter what we have, we want more. We want more money. We want more possessions. We want more recognition. More and more and more. Paul is saying here that sometimes stealing is living by greed. So he says, "Work hard. But not for yourself, but so that you can help those in need." Our work, our energy is to help others who are in need. Generous people feel a lot more joy than those who are stingy. So Paul says, "Steal no longer. Work hard to share with those in need."
Verse 29, "Stop all your dirty talk. Say the right thing at the right time and help others by what you say." Paul is really saying two things here. One, plainly he says not to speak bad, ugly, cursing words. But he also is saying, "Don't speak unwholesome words. But speak words that will build each other up."
I love this story of one mother's hectic day. She was really getting worn out. Her small son who had been playing outside came in with a tear on his pants and she was frustrated with this and said, "Darwin, you take those pants off right now and you mend them yourself." She then walked out of the room. Sometime later she came back to see how he was doing. She saw the pants lying on the chair, still torn, and the boy gone. She lost it! Then she noticed that the door to the basement which was usually closed, was open. She walked over to the door and yelled down sternly, "Are you running around down there without your pants on?"
"No, ma'am," replied a deep voice. "I'm just down here reading your gas meter."
There are moments we get out of control. We feel angry, frustrated. It's within those moments that God invites us to let his Spirit come and refrain from speaking words that are unwholesome. Some call it control talk. Have you ever caught yourself saying, "If you do that one more time." Or, "You never do." Or "You always do that." Or, "Don't you dare do that again!" Those are control words. They are words that we use to try to manipulate someone we love. Paul says today, "Let's speak wholesome words. Let's build an arsenal of positive, up-building words." Think about that this week as you talk to people and as you get frustrated, try to find those positive words to build the other one up.
Then in verse 30, "Don't make God's Spirit sad. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit." God has given us as new people with new clothes, a new spirit - a spirit that wants to guide us and help us and strengthen us as we walk through the day. Wearing the old grave clothes means, "I do whatever I want. I follow my own desires." Wearing the grace clothes means, "I listen to the Holy Spirit - to what the Holy Spirit wants to do in my life."
Prayer is a process through which we ask the Holy Spirit, "What would you do? Lord, what would you want me to do in this situation?" It's listening and tuning into the Holy Spirit. Think about this week as you walk through those tough situations. Stop and say a little prayer. "God, what would you do? What would you want me to do in this situation?"
Verse 31. "Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another, or curse each other or ever be rude." Those are the old grave clothes: bitterness, rage, anger, yelling, cursing, rudeness, intending to hurt others. Paul says, "Take that off. Here are the grace clothes." In verse 32 he says, "Be kind and merciful, forgive others just as God forgave you because of Christ." There's a whole new way of living! A way of living that allows others to come to us, sometimes even hurtfully, but we don't react as they would expect. As Christians we are shock absorbers. When someone hurts us, we don't have to retaliate. Because we wear these grace clothes, because we know we are so deeply loved by Jesus Christ, we can respond with forgiveness, grace, love, mercy and compassion.
Father O'Malley, a Catholic priest, was called in the middle of the night to perform last rights for a man in the hospital. He drove through a terrible storm. It was a miracle that he even made it. Once in the room, he sat down next to the elderly man. This man, who was a severe alcoholic, had been there many, many times before for treatment. But now it looked like his life was over. As O'Malley talked to this man named Bill, he could tell he was a very rude, cold man. Still O'Malley prayed for the man and asked, "Would you like to confess something?" The man said, "No." But Father O' Malley sensed the Holy Spirit telling him to stay and linger for awhile with this man and so he talked about some other things. Later, once more he asked, "Bill, is there something you would like to confess?"
Finally, Bill said, "Yes. There's something I did many, many years ago that I've never told anyone. I know that God cannot forgive me of this." Bill then went on to explain that many years ago, a couple days before Christmas, he and his co-workers at the railroad yard had been having a party. They were celebrating and drinking. It became time to switch the track - so Bill went over and because he was more drunk that he thought, switched the tracks north instead of south. The train came through. That freight train in the next California town crashed into a passenger train. Then Bill said, "Because of what I did, on that passenger train a mother and her two children were killed." There was a huge pause. Silence.
Finally, Father O'Malley said, "If I can forgive you, certainly God can forgive you. You see, Bill, that mother and those two children were my mother and my brother and sister." Father O'Malley by the amazing grace of God was able to become a shock absorber, to do what only the Holy Spirit could allow him to do and that was forgive. Bill's tears began to flow. His life in that last moment was changed and he welcomed Jesus Christ into his life.
That's what God wants to do through us. As we are new people he wants to keep our hearts tender and soft. AS we forgive, as we speak wholesome words to each other, as we let the Holy Spirit guide us, as we let go of anger, and as we speak truthfully, God keeps our hearts tough and tender and full of joy.
AMEN