This Week's Light Service Sermon

Light Service Sermons for the Month
Maximize Your Life
Zero in on Caring for Others
DATE: February 18, 2001
TEXT: John 15:12-13

Linus was talking to his sister Lucy one day when he told her that his dream was to be a doctor when he grew up. Lucy, in her typically supportive way, said, "You, a doctor? That's a laugh. You could never be a doctor. And do you know why? Because you don't love humankind."
Linus understandably, was incensed by his sister's attitude and responded, "I do too love humankind. It's people I can't stand."
Maybe you've felt the same way. Because maybe, like Linus, you've discovered that people are curious creatures. They let us down. They disappoint us. They take advantage of us. They act like jerks. Sometimes, as you have discovered from personal experience, there's not much to like about them. And at times we can barely stand to be around them.
On the other hand, most of us have discovered that we can't live without people. Because deep down in the depths of our being we need their love, their support, their encouragement, and their strength. And that's precisely the dilemma of relationships. Those who meet our needs for love and friendship are often the same ones who can hurt us so deeply.
Over the last several weeks we've been looking at Biblical principles for maximizing our lives. So far, most of the principles have had to do with what's happening in our hearts and how it is that we can become the people God created us to be, starting from the inside out.
Today, as we continue the series, we're going to move outside of ourselves to others and focus how it is that healthy relationships can energize us with joy and contentment.
Make Things Happen
Achieve Personal Significance
X out the Negatives
Internalize the Right Principles
March to a Mission
Integrate all of Life
Zero in on Caring for Others
E

The truth of the matter is, no matter how difficult people can be at times, we do need them. God created us that way. He created us to function at our best when we live in healthy, supportive relationships.
In our Bible reading for today Jesus gives us some insights into how we can build the kind of relationships that lead to maximized living. But before we look at what he has to say about how to Zero in on Caring for Others, let's pray together.
(PRAYER)
A few years ago, Rabbi Harold Kushner learned a valuable lesson about the importance of relationships through a simple experience at the beach. He watched as a young boy and girl worked together to build an elaborate sandcastle. They spent hours working on it when suddenly a big wave rolled in and in seconds wiped out the whole thing. Rabbi Kushner expected the kids to start crying but instead saw that they laughed, cheered, and then joined hands as they moved to a new spot to start again. Reflecting on that scene he wrote this:
All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody's hand to hold will be able to laugh.
Jesus taught us the same thing almost 2000 years ago. While on earth much of his ministry was spent teaching his followers how to build healthy relationships because he knew that healthy relationships lead to maximized living. But Jesus went beyond simply teaching about relationships. He modeled them for us in all that he did. And he continues to model healthy relationships for us in the way that he builds a relationship with us now.
In our Bible reading for today, Jesus shares the secret for zeroing in on caring for others. He says: "Love each other, as I have loved you. The greatest way to show love for friends is to die for them."
In this verse Jesus invites us to love others the way he loves us--for it's in the way he relates to us that we discover the keys to relating with others. In other words, the starting point for healthy relationships is a relationship with Jesus. So I'd like to take a few minutes to look how Jesus builds a relationship with us and how his love can motivate us to love others.
1) First of all, as we look at Jesus and how he builds relationships, he begins by Believing the Best about us. Another way of saying it is that Jesus accepts us unconditionally. While he knows everything about us, while he sees all of the failure, the junk, the mistakes, the self-doubt, the anger, the jealously, and so on, he loves us anyway. He accepts us just as we are, no questions asked.
Psychologist William James says that the deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel appreciated. In other words, all of us crave unconditional acceptance. We all long for someone who will believe in us no matter what, who will accept and love us just as we are. Jesus offers us that kind of love, a love that is absolutely unconditional.
And because Jesus loves us unconditionally, we can love others unconditionally as well. Because Jesus believes is us, we can choose to believe in others. And that belief helps set the stage for a healthy, long, friendship.
2) Secondly, Jesus Sees the Best in us. He sees beyond all the negative stuff in our lives to the potential God created in us. And as we live in a relationship with him, he helps us see what he sees.
Someone once said, "We live by encouragement--and we die without it, slowly, sadly, angrily." Seeing the best in others and complimenting them on it gives them life. And as they're energized by our praise, the relationship grows stronger leading to a fuller, more complete life.
One morning a man opened the front door of his house to get his newspaper only to see a strange little dog standing at the door with the paper in his mouth. The man was so delighted with this new delivery service that he gave the dog a treat. The next morning he went to the door and found that same dog, tail wagging, surrounded by 8 newspapers.
As Jesus sees the best in us, we can see the best in others and enjoy the gift of a satisfying relationship.
3) As we look at how Jesus builds a relationship with us we see that Jesus Brings out the Best in us. Because he believes is us, because he sees the best in us, we find the best drawn out of us. His love ennobles us and helps us become the people he sees us to be.
Jean Nidetch, the founder of Weight Watchers, was once asked how it is that she has been able to help so many people. She responded by telling of an experience she had as a teenager. She was walking through a park and noticed how some of the moms sat on a bench talking to each other while their kids sat on swings with no one to push them. So Jean walked over and gave them a push. She said, "Do you know what happens when you push a kid on a swing. Pretty soon he or she is pumping, doing it all alone. That's my role in life--I'm there to give others a push."
By believing the best about others and seeing the best in them, we give people the push they need to be their best. Jesus does that for us, and his love empowers us to do it for others. And in the process our relationships become more meaningful and fulfilling.
4) A fourth characteristic in the way Jesus builds a relationship with us is the way he Affirms the Best in us. In other words, Jesus assures us that he's completely committed to us. He'll stand by us no matter what. In fact, he's so committed that he'll lay down his life for us.
Scott Kregel was a dedicated athlete who spent hour after hour perfecting his free throw and jump shots. But just before the season started tragedy struck. Scott was involved in a serious car accident that left him in a coma for several days. When he finally came to, he found himself face to face with the prospect of a long rehabilitation process.
Having been an active athlete, Scott struggled with the slow tedious work necessary to get back to doing normal things like stringing beads. It was boring and seemingly a waste of time. In fact, he was so frustrated that he was on the verge of giving up. But Scott's coach wasn't about to let that happen. He was committed to getting Scott back into life and into game.
He promised Scott a spot on the varsity team if he would keep at the rehabilitation process. And the coach's wife spent hour after hour working with Scott to get him back on his feet.
Two months later Scott's teammates carried him off the court on their shoulders. He had been the primary reason for their triple-overtime victory. His nine straight free-throws won the game. And it all happened because the coach and his wife were absolutely committed to Scott--a commitment that changed Scott's life and built a relationship that would last forever.
Knowing someone loves us that much changes us. We'll commit our lives to someone who's so committed to us. And as we affirm our loyalty and love for others, we can enjoy a relationship together that stands firm through the ups and downs of life.
5) A fifth characteristic in the way Jesus builds a relationship with us is that he Wipes out the Worst in us. To put it another way, Jesus forgives us unconditionally no matter how many times we blow it. He assures us that he will allow nothing to stand in the way of our relationship together.
Forgiveness is the oil that keeps relationships running smoothly. Forgiveness builds trust and hope. It keeps the communication lines open between people. Without it a relationship cannot survive. With it, a relationship can survive anything.
Jesus keeps our relationship with him strong through the promise of his forgiveness. And that motivates us to forgive others as we've been forgiven. One of the strongest ways to zero in on caring for others is to offer them the gift of unconditional forgiveness.
6) Finally, Jesus builds a relationship with us by Giving the Best for us. It's amazing when you think about it, that the God who created us humbled himself to serve us--his creation--in the person of Jesus. Jesus came to lay it all on the line for us because he loves us so much. He came to win us over by serving us. And in the process shows us that the best of relationships are built not on taking from others but on giving to them.
Albert Schweizer put it this way: "I don't know what your destiny will be but one thing I do know--the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."
Jesus shows us that it's when we give ourselves away to others that we draw them to us. For serving others, putting their needs ahead of our own, softens them and us so that we can enjoy each other, trust each other, and experience the maximizing power of relationships.
Jesus knows that relationships make the difference between a meaningless life and maximized life. As Rabbi Kushner said, "Only those who have a hand to hold will be able to laugh." Jesus also knows that the main ingredient for building great relationships is love. So he invites us to experience that love personally through him that we might in turn love others. For as his love captures your heart and as you experience his best, you'll find yourself healthy and whole enough to reach out to others and love them, which in turn will set you free to enjoy maximum living.
AMEN