This Week's Light Service Sermon

Light Service Sermons for the Month
The Character Qualities of Quality Living
The Character Quality of Loyalty
DATE: January 31, 1999
TEXT: 1 Samuel 20:12-16

As we move into the final year of this decade and on into the new century, character issues are going to be hot. Part of the reason for this, as I hinted last week, is that the agenda of this nation, like it or not, is being set by Baby Boomers, the 75 million of us born between 1946 and 1964. Unlike the generations before us, we see our mission in life as justifying and purifying, not building. In fact, believe it or not, we almost see ourselves as the moral conscience of the nation. For example, we're the generation that protested the Vietnam War for moral rather than political reasons. Issues of character and matters of the heart have always been important to us. Earlier generations have seemed much more tolerant of peccadilloes in the White House or the Capital Building. The trysts of John Kennedy and Franklin Roosevelt are probably more widely known now than when they happened. Apparently no one in those days, thought it as important to expose as today. But today beginning with Gary Hart character has become a public concern. And the irony of the first Baby Boomer President being held accountable morally while being tried politically and legally escapes few of us. I think Senator Bupkiss had it right when he said, "When someone says 'This is not about sex,' its about sex!"

Now that doesn't mean that our values have always been healthy. After all, we're also the generation that promoted free sex in the 60s and 70s. But as we move into our middle years, our interest in what's happening on the inside of our lives will continue to make us the moralists of the nation and issues of character will continue to take center stage.
You can see it in the best selling books like William Bennet's Book of Virtues. You can see it in the corporations all over the county who are now focusing on character traits like integrity in addition to work skills. You can see it in the way we scrutinize the private lives of our leaders. Character is hot.
But this spotlight on character is more than simply a sociological phenomenon. It's also highly personal. For as we move through life we're coming to realize more and more that what's on the inside does impact the quality of our character. And many of us are looking to develop the kinds of character qualities that can lead to a quality life.
Last week, we began a new series called, "Character Qualities for Quality Living." We kicked off the series by looking at courage, the character quality necessary for making the most of life in the midst of its challenges.
Today, as we continue the series, we're going to focus on loyalty, the character quality essential to building quality relationships. And we're going to do so by looking at a story of loyalty in the Bible and how we can develop that character trait in our lives. But before we talk about it, let's pray.
Dear Jesus. How loyal you are to us. You daily give us the promise of forgiveness and peace and still we betray your gift. You daily walk with us through life's challenges and still we forget your presence. You are an amazing savior and we are humbled by that. Bless you and us. AMEN.
Saul had been chosen by God to be the first king of Israel. Unfortunately, along the way, Saul lost his focus. He took his eyes off God and began calling his own shots. Finally, God was compelled to choose another king, a young shepherd boy by the name of David.
For a time, David and Saul had a cordial, if not friendly relationship. But as Saul grew more distant from God and reality, his love for David turned to hatred. And eventually Saul was consumed with destroying David.
This put Saul's son Jonathan in a very awkward position. Because Jonathan was David's best friend. He and David shared a love and respect for each other that made them like family. They would do anything for each other.
As the same time, Jonathan deeply loved and respected his dad. And because of his loyalty to both men, Jonathan found himself torn between the two of them.
At first, Jonathan didn't believe David when David told him Saul was trying to kill him. Jonathan loved his dad too much to believe that he was capable of such a crime. But because of his love for David and his loyalty to him, he promised David that should he see for himself that Saul was trying to kill David, he would disobey his dad and warn David.
As dinner one night Saul asked about David's whereabouts. Jonathan explained that David was away with family. Suddenly Jonathan saw a side of his dad he'd never seen before. His dad began yelling uncontrollably about how David had to die. Jonathan was stunned. And even though he was deeply loyal to his dad, his loyalty to David was stronger. He kept his promise to David and warned him of Saul's death threats and David was able to escape.
It's a very interesting story. And a very human one. On the one hand we see a story of intense loyalty between two friends--two friends who would do anything for each other. It's the kind of relationship many of us long for.
On the other hand, it's a story of a broken heart. Jonathan's loyalty to his dad was rewarded with great disappointment as he discovered he could not remain loyal to his father. Perhaps some of us, like Jonathan, have been loyal to someone only to discover our loyalty was misplaced.
It's a real life story. And in that story are some insights into how we can develop the character quality of loyalty that we might develop healthy relationships, relationships similar to the one David and Jonathan experienced. And I'd like to take a few moments to look at some of those insights with you.
1) First of all, as we look at the story of Jonathan and David, we see that loyalty keeps its commitments. Jonathan made a promise to David that if David's life was threatened, he would turn his back on his father Saul and warn David. And at a great personal price, Jonathan did exactly that. He kept his commitment to David and remained loyal to him.
A man and his tax consultant were about to walk into the IRS office. But the consultant refused to go in. When asked why he said, "As your tax consultant, I said in case of an audit I would accompany you to the IRS. I never said anything about going in with you!"
True loyalty keeps commitments. It stands by a friend or family member no matter what. Even in failure, loyalty stands alongside the friend offering support, encouragement, and a shoulder to cry on. Loyalty remains faithful.
And let's be honest, wouldn't it be nice to have a friend who would do that for us? Who would hang in there with us not only in the good times, but when the going gets tough?
The key to having friends like that is to be a friend like that. Loyalty has a way of drawing out loyalty in others.
Loyalty keeps commitments.
2) Secondly, loyalty loves unconditionally which in turn brings out the best in us. David and Jonathan loved each other deeply. In fact, our Bible reading says that Jonathan loved David as he loved himself. And that love David and Jonathan had for each other brought out the best in both of them. For Jonathan it brought out a spirit of courage as he stood up to his dad when Saul was in the wrong. For David, it brought out the spirit of compassion. Moved by Jonathan's loyalty, David cared for Jonathan's son after Jonathan died in battle.
About 50 years ago a John Hopkins University professor have his graduate students an assignment. He told them to go to the slums and select 200 boys between the ages of 12 and 16. They were to research the lives of these boys from their home life to the neighborhood environment. And then, based on their research, they were to predict their chances for the future. After the study, the students predicted that 90% of the boys would spend some time in jail.
25 years later another group of graduate students tested the prediction. They went back to the slums to follow up on the 200 boys who were now men. They were able to track down 180 of them. And they discovered that only 4 of the 180 had ever been sent to jail. As the researchers tried to find out why these men, who grew up in such a crime-producing environment, were able to avoid jail, the men uttered one phrase over and over again. "There was this one teacher…"
The students tracked down the teacher, now living in a retirement home. They shared the study with her and asked her why the men continually referred to her. She couldn't come up with a reason. Then she said, more to herself than to the interviewers, "I loved those boys…"
There's a true story about a group of young men who were attending the University of Wisconsin. These young men had amazing creative talent. They had the ability to write poetry and essays that were far beyond the efforts of most students. They met together each week to critique each other's work in the hopes of getting even better. And they were merciless in their critiques. They were heartless and even mean-spirited. In fact, the sessions were so ruthless that they began to call their group the "Stranglers."
Not to be outdone, a group of brilliant young women formed a similar group and called themselves the "Wranglers." They, too, critiqued each other's work, but in a far different way. Their criticism was softer, more positive, and more encouraging. In fact, even the not so great pieces of work received some kind of positive reinforcement.
20 years later a study was done on what had happened to the people in these two groups. Of all of the men in the Stranglers group, not one went on to make any significant literary accomplishment. From the women's group, six of the women became successful writers.
The difference was in the way they treated each other. The men strangled the creativity out of each other. The women inspired greatness.
Loyalty loves unconditionally. Through the eyes of that love it looks for the good in people and brings out the best in them.
3) Having said that, however, loyalty stands on the side of truth.
History is filled with stories of destructive misplaced loyalties. There were those who blindly committed themselves to Hitler and his demonic Nazi regime. Just a few years ago a group of people loyally followed misguided David Karesh to their graves and others committed mass suicide believing in a leader who said they would be taken up into a space ship hiding in a comet.
Healthy loyalty not only keeps commitments, it not only loves unconditionally, it also views a relationship through the eyes of truth.
As loyal as he was to his father, Jonathan knew that his dad was wrong. And even though it broke his heart, Jonathan could no longer remain loyal to his dad.
There may be times when a relationship becomes destructive. The demands and the decisions being made, the actions taken, the disregard for certain important values may mean breaking off of the relationship. At times loyalty loves people and one's self enough to walk away from the relationship when it demands things we cannot condone. Jonathan never stopped loving his dad. In fact, he died along side his dad in battle. But his loyalty was built on doing the right thing, which meant he could no longer give his dad his full support.
Healthy loyalty stands on the side of truth.
4) Finally, loyalty finds its center in Jesus Christ. Jonathan's loyalty was filtered through his relationship with God. Because his values were rooted in God's values, he was able to place his loyalty in the right relationships. He learned that loyalty is not something we produce on our own. It's a character quality that God shapes in us as our heart is touched by God's heart.
200 years ago God demonstrated to us what true loyalty is all about. He sent Jesus into this world to love us unconditionally. Jesus is a friend who always keeps his commitments to us no matter what. In the good times and bad, he's there for us. His love for us sees the best in us and draws out the best in us. He forgives us freely and gives us a second chance. And yet his love is always rooted in what is right. His loyalty to us brings out healthy loyalty in us.
As Jonathan and David discovered, loyalty is a quality that can enhance our relationships. And that loyalty begins with God. As we experience his loyalty through Jesus Christ, we find that it draws out the quality of loyalty in us.
I encourage you today to discover the quality of loyalty. First of all to discover the God who is always loyal to you through Jesus. And as you walk with him, then, to allow him to shape in you the character quality of loyalty, that you might enjoy quality relationships.

AMEN